I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you still have your period?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize