I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
