I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Randomize
