im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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