Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
