How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
