i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
