"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
