Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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