Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
