i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
