Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize