addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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