Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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