What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
