I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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