someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
