Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
