3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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