Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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