Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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