I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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