it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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