Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In other news, I just burned my penis
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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