Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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