Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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