That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There r osticjed everywhere
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
