he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
