My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
