Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We are all done wearing pants today
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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