and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
