He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
