That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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