He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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