Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
