i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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