i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
nutella sex= disaster
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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