bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
