Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
