sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
