OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
