dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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