ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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