gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
