i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
