i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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