i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
