He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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