His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
