so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
