That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
