ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize