i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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