it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
