Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize